It would be a lie if I would say I wouldn’t think or worry about the future. In fact I actually do a lot, even though my Mom thinks I don’t… Right now I don’t even know what I wanna do after graduation in December 2015 (latest!). I mean, I know I wanna work within Marketing/Communication/PR but that’s again so vague as it is actually such a big field, and there are so many different things you can do or you – somehow – can combine them all. Actually this is really sad and scares me at the same time.
I can’t even say if I can still see myself in Finland in the future. I love Finland, I really do and it would probably break my heart having to leave, but being stuck here with no chances to find a suitable job in the field I have studied definitely isn’t what I’m looking for, as I of course want something good and positive for myself, my life and my future. I really wanna do something I really like and enjoy and not just go to work because I have to go or do – yet again – some stupid cleaning. I know this sounds stupid and arrogant, but I’m so done with all this kind of jobs. I need something real.
I know that it is utopian to believe to find an enjoyable job right after graduation and I know that this probably won’t be the case but still I can hope and look for something more related to my studies which brings me further. You know, baby steps and all these kind of things…
Finding a job is generally hard and I know not even in Germany it is easy but probably easier than in a country where you are far away of speaking the language fluently. And to be honest, I kind of gave up learning it. It sound nice and all but really learning it that well that you could use it professionally…uff maybe not for me, kiitos! And I even have to admit that – sometimes (rarely but it happens) — it actually even annoys me. The way it sound and especially the way women are speaking it. 90 out of 100 speak it with exact the same voice/tone, ugh go away. (I know this sounds really harsh and mean, and I actually don’t mean it as such – so no offense my Finnish friends) — but yeah, I just have my days when it annoys me, but then everything else does too, to be honest.
Living in Finland always has been my dream and I have lived that dream for nearly 6 years and loved it, but sometimes being in a country which you love with all your heart, soul and mind isn’t just everything if you even can’t really live there because you barely have enough money for living. I’m a student, so I know what it is like to live on a minimum of money and to restrict yourself but that’s really something I don’t wanna do forever. This is all so confusing for me but sometime it’s just better to take a step back, after all I can say that I have lived and enjoyed my dream. And I loved and still love it. Right now I have huge feels for Berlin and I actually hope I can go and do my internship in Berlin (waiting for an answer) and check out how life in Berlin is. After all it is probably the only city I could imagine to live in Germany, okay Hamburg would be good as well but I really do love Berlin and I really could imagine living there.